Joy and Pain
"Joy and Pain is like sunshine and rain." -Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock
I miss my friend.
About two months ago, I received a series of phone calls on a Saturday morning informing me that my friend had died.
She didn't just die...she took her own life.
Although she is not the first person in personal life to die by suicide, her death might have been the most shocking to me. Why? Because of who *I* knew her to be...SHE would NEVER do THAT.
Who was she? She was - so many things.
A proud Black woman. A patient introvert. A brilliant clinical psychologist. A talented artist. A devoted dog mom. A newly published author. A hustling entrepreneur. A dedicated adult child carer for her mother. A spouse of over 20 years. A stepmother to grown kids. A clever blogger. An eclectic music lover. A fierce friend. A troublemaker making "good trouble."
A stressed spouse who worried about the future of her relationship. A frustrated employee who felt constrained at work. A defiant writer, who continued to share her authentic self despite others voicing concerns for her safety. A conscientious citizen, concerned about the Presidential election and what it could mean for the country. A giving clinician who worked hard to provide clients with up-to-date focused clinical information. A concerned puppy parent, whose baby was having medical issues. A worried daughter, who carefully watching aspects of her mother’s health. A fervent champion for diversity, watching a lot of what she spent her professional career working towards be rejected and mocked by professional institutions and politicians.
"Peace. You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody."
- Maya Angelou
And, she was one of the loudest voices cheering me on after I left my "good gov't job" and to strike out on my own.
And, she was someone I communicated with DAILY either via text or phone call, who always asked about my family, my health, and my mindset regardless of what was on her mind.
And, she was that one person that you can tell anything, because you know for a fact that it would never be spoken by her lips to another.
And, she was someone who loved music as much as I do and used lyrics to express herself whenever possible.
And, she was an incredible role model for me, an extrovert, to learn how to deeply engage with introverts on personal and professional levels.
And, she was someone who was incredibly private, yet unapologetically shared so much of herself in her writing, art, and creative endeavors.
And, she was my friend. As a result, I am absolutely a better version of me.
SAMHSA Suicide Prevent Month Campaign banner
September is National Suicide Prevention Month. World Suicide Prevention Day on 10 September. If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts related to suicide, please use any of the suicide prevention tools or programs to obtain support.
2024 -2026 World Suicide Prevention Day Campaign banner
Suicide is a preventable public health issue. It affects every race, nationality, religion, age, gender, socioeconomic status, and so on; although, not equally. Together, we can reduce stigma and shame around this topic to support those struggling with suicidal thoughts/actions, uplift the survivors of suicide, and collectively Experience Better.
